i had a panic attack today. i was so scared. i was driving home from church, and i may have been crying a little, but i just couldn't breathe. my chest starting hurting so badly, and my throat felt like it was closing up. i called del to talk to him because i was so scared and he made me pull over. i sat in a parking lot with him talking to me while i tried to breathe. it was hard.
i'm so stressed out lately. i'm surprise this attack didn't happen soon. the littlest things set me off. i'm just so sick of everyone and everything lately. the only thing i want to do is be with taylor, but unfortunatly things havn't worked out at all this weekend and i feel so far from him.
life just sucks right now. i have so much to do, and all i really want to do is run away. i want to leave without taking anything. sometimes i want to destroy my cell phone. this is one time in my life when i want people to hurt how i hurt. i want them to feel the way i do. to feel the rejection, the loss, the being made fun of, the torture i suffer each day of my life. these are the reasons why i want to disappear. to forget about everyone but have them never forget about me...
but most of all...i just want to feel loved...
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